Me: Ied Mubaraq Alone in Alien Country

houston] 10 Dzulhijjah - January 9 pm

I was on the way back to my hotel after picked up my Avis Chevrolet Impala. I switched on the radio and found a song that familiar in my ear. Somebody said it was a broken heart song, but i'm not sure she was right on this... the song was "I don't have a heart" of James Ingram and for sure this was old song but i felt new for me recently.

Your face is beaming
You say it's 'cause you're dreaming
Of how good it's going to be
You say you've been around
And now you've finally found
Everything you wanted and needed in me

(Chorus)
I don't have the heart to hurt you
It's the last thing I wanna do
But I don't have the heart to love you
Not the way you want me to

Inside I'm dying
Seeing you crying
How can I make you understand
I care about you
So much about you
I'm trying to say this, as gently as I can

(Chorus)

You're so trusting
And Open
Hoping that love will start
But I don't have the heart
Oh no, I don't have the heart

After he completed the song, I switched off my radio and felt really alone on this alien country. I picked the car for preparation that tomorow I should go early to Bear Creek Masjid (17250 Coventry Park, Houston, TX 77084) for Ied praying. On the way to go back to my hotel, I felt so so very very little in front of the Almighty, my Creator --- I repeated tasbih, tahmid alone in the car.

This time, I felt different environment to celebrate the feast of sacrifice (iedul adha) and always the first time. This was the first time i did fasting in this country and also did without taking sahur meal (who would prepare meal, if I was alone) while attending the course. Tomorrow will be my first time also to celebrate the feast alone, but I will found so many brotherhood of moslems there.

This time, all feelings were melting into my heart, broken hearted, alone, found new brotherhood, faith, etc.

"For my brothers and sisters, who have chances to present in Arafah valley, followed with other ritual to Muzdaliffah, Mecca and Mina - I pray for you for Lord to bless you with Hajj Al-Mabrur and Lord accepts all good deeds and dua"

"For all moslems, I pray for us, that we can follow good example of Ismael and Abraham as good humble of the Creator - follow and accept without reserve."